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Dépit (French)
"This French word describes the feeling of itching irritation or fury (on a small scale) that happens when you're disappointed by something, like getting rejected in love or not winning a prize" (Thorpe).
Personally, I've experienced the feeling of Dépit in the past as I was rejected by this old man who I deeply seeked respect from. Specifically, this person was my sensei at a karate dojo. I've known this man more than half of my life, as I joined karate when I was 8, however, no matter how much I tried to uphold his standards, he would always act as if I was a horrible student. He always praised other students over me and his favoritism was blatantly obvious. It wasn't so much that I wanted him to notice me, why I would be completely fine if he didn't speak to me at all; but it's just that he tends to lash out of students, primarily me, hinting on how I have been a disappointment. I know that sensei's should inform me about my skills, after all they are teachers, but sometimes his words come off as being rude and disrespectful. He even goes further to comment on how many times I attend practice when he is well informed that I frequently can't make it because I need to catch the bus home and sometimes there's too much traffic. However, my feelings of dépit towards him have changed, as I have accepted that he may never give me the respect I know I deserve. I currently chose to not feel saddened by something I can not change. As long as I know that I have truly tried my best to be the best that I can be, then I should care about no one else's opinion but my own. By going through small waves of hurt, I've become accustomed to blocking out negative people from my life because as I've learned through that man, sadness and fury can be contagious.
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“Melancholy is sadness that has taken on lightness.” ― Italo Calvino
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Ode to Melancholy
"She dwells with Beauty—Beauty that must die"
-- John Keats
This is my favorite line from the poem because prior to this line, I didn't really understand completely what melancholy meant, however, after reading it, I gained a new understanding. The "She" in this quote is referring to the word melancholy and how the feeling of melancholy consists of a type of beauty. Beauty masks the feeling of melancholy. However, this beauty, or happiness that a person may feel, is only temporary. It dies. Thus they may feel happy and sad at the same time.
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